136. The sea never disappointed me

Thousand Full Moon: Shrimati Gokhale
Contributed by: Dr. Raghunath Boradkar

Shrimati Maniktai Gokhale is 81 +. She is an accomplished classical vocalist and excels in culinary art. I met Gokhales in 1964-65. We shared a common love for sea and used to frequent a near by sea resort. I still remember those days and the fun we had. Gokhales later went to Zambia and Libya. Here Shrimati Gokhale describes her days in Malta and feels they were the best days in her life.  Here is an account of her life in her own words.

I felt like a butterfly caught in the net when I stepped in the house of my in laws after marriage and that too to solve their problem. My father was about to retire and was in a hurry to get the daughter married. Opposite our house lived a family and the boy was to be a doctor, and they wanted a daughter in law to take care and look after the aged. This was the background of the marriage.  Marriage for convenience and need, so there was no question of liking. My mother was influenced by thoughts of Sane Guruji and so was I. Khara to ekachi dharma  Jagala prem arpave: The only true Dharma is to give away love to the world.  The marriage was solemnised under such circumstances. It was someone’s convenience and needed no mutual liking and acceptance. I have been experiencing the consequences of this throughout my life.

The elderly passed away in due course and I carried on with life coping with children and his, my husband’s, frequent transfers. I soon realized that he had no space for me in his heart or mind and had never thought of joining me in my pain or pleasure. He did get recognition for his work in his field but there were no good words for me, rather I was told that I had destroyed his life. May be it was to be that way.

One day he suddenly decided to change the job and we found ourselves first in Zambia and then in Libya. Libya was ruled by Dictator Colonel Gaddafi and he had ordered that all education must be in Arabic. But our children were in convent school. Somebody suggested that all ex-patriots including Indians, educate their children in Malta. Malta had good convent schools and hostels. There was a Maltese doctor working with him and he gave all the information and then it was decided that as the children were small I should stay in Malta with children. I was a little uneasy but there was no other alternative and I thought it better than moving about in a burka in Libya. I thought I would be able to breathe freely on this island near Europe, so I decided to go. I think it was July 1976, summer holidays when one day we reached Valetta, capital of Malta, at noon by Maltese Airways plane. Malta is a small island in the Mediterranean sea between Europe and Asia and to the  south of Italy. Yellow rocks everywhere, not much of land but sea to be seen from anywhere and within 15 minutes’ walk from any point. A group of three islands Malta, Gozo, and Kamino make the Republic of Malta. Strategically situated Malta was ruled by the British, Turks and Greeks. The southern tip of Italy is hardly 60 miles from Malta. Malta became known because of the second world war. It is also very near Egypt and Libya. Mainly a tourist center. Malta has ship repairing docks. It is known for beautiful churches named after Jesus and his disciples. The people are religious, hardworking and lovable and adjusting with the outsiders easily. We saw the Mediterranean Sea while landing, till then I had only read about it as a landlocked sea. It was exhilarating to actually see it. The deep blue sea and the colorful boats swinging on the waves were so beautiful a sight that it could make you forget yourself. The tourist season begins from March and the rush starts. It doesn’t snow in Malta but it’s very cold, and windy with heavy rains. The sea is beautiful from March to December. It’s excellent for swimming from end of June till October. We reached right during the Tourist season. The schools were to open from first October and therefore we could spend the entire vacation  on the sea shore, swimming and resting on the beach. The thought itself made me happy. We got a place to stay which was very close to the sea. It was a nice flat with good neighbors. A grocery shop was nearby and vegetables were available on a hand cart. The best part was that whenever I went to the balcony for anything like drying clothes or some other reason I could see the deep blue sea. On the first day we came out just crossed the road to reach the beach. When I entered the water I felt as if someone was embracing me with love. The sea in a way took away all the anger, disappointment and pain from me and made me forget everything. For hours I stayed in the water and the sea never disappointed me. Exploring the sandy beach, rocky beach and the golden beach every year we spent three years in Malta and yet the feeling that I had no one here, remained. The reason was that he, my husband, had created his own world in Libya where there was no place for me. I returned to India with a sad mind but I couldn’t forget the different moods of that beautiful sea, various celebrations of those beautiful churches and the serenity of the prayers and of course the people who every time I was out, used to say, “Enjoy yourself Madam, Take good care of the children.” When I remember those days, I question myself whether heaven could be any different and I thank God for giving me that wonderful time of my life.

Now I am not angry with any one nor do I have any grudge against anyone. The children are now well settled and busy with their own affairs. When needed they come. If I have any inconvenience they come and take care of it. I am happy and content. The only wish I have now is that before I become a ‘discarded item’ I should get called to my rightful eternal place, that’s all!

||Shri Ram Jay Ram Jay Jay Ram||