116. My eyes were searching for my son and then I saw him...

Thousand Moon: Mrs. Nirmala Vidwans-Boradkar
Contributed By: Dr. Raghunath Boradkar 

My son Prasad went to US in 1991 after completing his Master degree in Industrial Design from Industrial Design Centre, IIT Pawai, Mumbai. His further studies he completed from Ohio State University and after that went to San Bernardino California. He could not come to India even for a short visit as there was some technical problem about his visa and we had to get it changed and the procedure took nearly a year or may be more. I was very keen on seeing him as six long years had passed and I had not met him. Ultimately I decided to go to San Bernardino but I was very scared of air travel and also going there alone. Dr Boradkar had a Job here in Pune and could not come as he had to wait for the summer vacation and we were in a fix. But it so happened that my cousins wife Mrs Veena Vidwans was going to San Jose to her son and I had company. She had travelled abroad often and we decided to go together.  My cousin Avinash too was to go after a month, so Dr Boradkar could come with him. We therefore made plans accordingly.

Our passports were ready but we had no visa so we applied for a visa. Getting a visa was an experience worth remembering as we waited from morning till evening in the US consulate. After a long wait my  turn came and I was asked why I wanted to go to US and I plainly told the man that I want see my son whom I have not seen for six years. Hearing this the interviewer told me that it was a poor reason. For a moment I was taken aback but the next moment he said I will give you a visa for six months and I was relieved. We had gone to Mumbai in the early morning and returned to Pune late night but happy.

 A very hectic time followed as I wanted to carry whole of India with me! From Chaklis that he liked to ‘Pohe’ that he loved. He was single so I had to carry some utensils also. My bags were full to their capacity. And then the day came. Our flight was Mumbai-London and London- San Francisco.  So on April 22^nd 1996 we boarded a plane for London. I was at ease as I just had to follow Veena. We got in to the plane and were seated and as the plane readied for the take-off I must have prayed to thousand Gods in the Indian pantheon and if I had known any other Gods from any other faith I would have prayed to them too. I clutched the seat handles with all my might and did not release the grip till the plane was settled in a horizontal cruise. Then I gradually became aware of my surroundings.  When the Air Hostess later approached us and asked us what we would like to have we both blurted out ‘A hot cup of Tea’? The Air Hostess was amused and gave us a surprised look.

We reached San Francisco some time at night and were duly picked up from the AirPort. Sachin [Veena’s son] had come to the Airport. We reached his home in San Jose and I tried to sleep but couldn’t. Prasad had given elaborate instructions to Sachin for my flight next day to Ontario. Veena was used to all this but I was a bit dazed. In the morning I got a call from Prasad and had a long talk with him. Later in the evening I was to see him and I could feel the tension leave my head.

Time flew. We had our lunch and I rested a little and then Sachin took me to the Airport again. This was a short flight of an hour or so. I got my boarding pass and Sachin was with me right up to the gate. He then left. I boarded the plane and felt the tension coming back again as I was alone but I also felt a sense of relief as I was to see Prasad in an hours’ time. I tried to relax. We landed at Ontario as scheduled. Ontario was a small Airport and we had to walk to the Airport building. As I walked, my eyes were searching for Prasad and as I reached the gate I saw him standing and waving.

I now was completely relaxed and happy. When I reached the gate he came forwards and hugged me and said ‘Aai tu aalis’ (mother you came). Seeing him touching him and feeling the nearness of him gave me the joy that only a mother can know.

It is said that a moment comes but comes only once in life and for me this was that moment!

Sou. Nirmala Vidwans-Boradkar

115. Graceful Acceptance

Thousand Moon: Mrs. Saraswathi Ramaiyer

Contributed By: Savithri Devaraj

Meet Mrs. Saraswathi Ramaiyer, born on September 10, 1925 in Bangalore into a family of 6 brothers and a sister. Though physically frail, her spirit is fresh and strong.

She spent most of her childhood and schooling years at Bengaluru. When she was in high school (9^th grade), her father, a police inspector, was transferred to Chikkamagaluru.  Though an ardent student interested in pursuing higher studies, she was not allowed to continue high school as it was a 2 mile walk from home to a co-education high school in the new town. She says “In those days, girls from respectable families didn’t go to co-ed schools or walk long distances”. I could clearly see the regret in her eyes, when she said her brothers all went ahead to become electrical, mechanical and civil engineers, but she and her sister had to discontinue studies, and pursue other activities like stitching and arts in a community center. Then, two years later, her father was transferred to Mysore and a couple of years after that, back to Bangalore. She regrets that her education came to an end so soon.  During her stay in Mysore, she has vivid memories of the Maharaja’s Dasara procession, Nalmudi Krishnaraja Wadeyar in all his grandeur. One year she remembers her paternal aunt, who had tuberculosis, visiting them to view the Dasara procession. Her father arranged it such that the procession took a tiny detour to come in front of their house so that the aunt could see the procession from their home. 

She married Sri Ramaiyer in 1943 at the age of 18 in Devarayasamudra, a small village near Kolar where she continues her life even to this day. She observes with a smile – “during those days generally people who lived in villages got married and moved into towns and cities, but I on the other hand, moved from being a city girl to a village. My sister was married in Bengaluru and went to live with her husband in Varanasi and later Mumbai. Still I was very satisfied with my father’s choice, I had no complaints”. And this pleasant acceptance of whatever comes is still evident in her today – she has lost most of her peers including two brothers, her sister and her husband , but still is cheerful and without complaints. After marriage, she was introduced into the large joint family in the village. Ramaiyer, and older brother Venkatesha Iyer’s families along with their parents lived in harmony in the village. The brothers were agriculturists and had large areas of land where grains, coconuts, tamarind etc was grown. The house had living quarters around an open quadrangle. Even today, it stands the same with a few additional bathrooms. All housework, including cooking, cleaning and caring for kids, was shared in the family. After all the house work, Smt Saraswathi, being an industrious lady, started conducting kindergarten classes for some 40 village kids.  That continued for a couple of years until family life got hectic with schools and activities. She completely supported her husband in all his activities and the house was like a boarding home for all visitors to the village; there were always a few extra folks for meals. They had a dozen cows supplying sumptuous milk and curds for several families in the village.  Dozens of families received support in numerous ways including grains, jobs and monetary help.

She remembers the Indian Independence movement and the strife that came after partition in 1948. Her dad retired from the police force that year and settled down in Bengaluru. Although the city was far away from the partition line, she says there were lots of agitations and skirmishes, and the family was asked to stay away from Bengaluru in the village. Her father was a generous man; though a man of modest means, she remembers him borrowing money on interest to help someone in need of money for pursuing his studies. Such was his love for education, no wonder he named his daughters Sarada and Saraswathi. One thing I clearly got from the conversation – she is very proud of her father, and she clearly takes after him.  In spite of the fact that he didn’t allow her to study further, she is proud of her ASP (Assistant Superintendent of Police) father who earned Rs300 a month and supported six boys, and several other known boys,  in their higher studies. She gracefully accepts all this as a sign of her times. Here is a picture of her father who passed away in 1962.

Today, at 89, Smt Saraswathi is still greatly respected in the village. She spends time on and off with her two daughters and sons in Bangalore, but is ever ready to go back to her home in the village. She still enjoys cooking, TV programs and conversing with her brothers, children and grand children. Thanks to this conversation, I got to know her much better than I ever did in the last 27 years. She is my mother-in-law.

114. Working side by side with his father, are some of the fondest memories of childhood.

Story of Harshad Himabhai Patel

Thousand Moon:  Harshad Himabhai Patel

Contribured By: Tanuja Ranade Sheth

This is the first attempt at writing a personal history of someone that I know who has seen 1000 full moons during their lifetime.   I am blessed to know 5 to 6 individuals who have passed this mark, and I am awed by each of them.  I hope to provide a personal history of each, and then focus on some interesting aspect of their life that we can learn from today.

Harshad Himabhai Patel was born on April 15, 1932 in Mombassa, Kenya, which at that time was part of the British Empire. This interview concentrates on issues that are important to immigrants everywhere- the foundation laid by your family and culture when you were young, reasons why you left your homeland, and the challenges that you faced in a new country.

Harshad Patel is like so many of my parent’s friends who immigrated to the US in the late 1950’s and early ‘60’s. They were looking for educational and professional opportunities that were not available in India at the time.  They were also hoping that their children and future generations would be able to benefit from these opportunities.

First a bit of his personal history:  When Harshad was 8 years old, his entire family- minus his father moved back to India.  His father continued to work in Africa for some years, but the family had land in Charothar, Gujarat.  It was the desire of his father to bring proper irrigation to the land and the area so it could be cultivated and used beneficially.  When Harshad was 12, his parents put him in the Dadaji Naroji High School.  This was a boarding school started by the founders of Tata Steel Mills and was known to be an excellent school.  As with most children who go to boarding school, initially Harshad was scared and was trying to send messages to his mom to come back to get him.  In retrospect, this education was very good, much better than he could have gotten in his small hometown. 

Here is a description of Harshad Patel’s boarding school days in his own voice:

I would like to share some of my experiences of my high school days, at the boarding school, which has helped me tremendously in developing my life foundation.   As I said, I was sent to boarding school at the age of 12 years. My father was for sending me away to school, but my mother was against it. Also, I was not ready to part from my mother.  But, my father was looking at my good future and with his foresight; he found a very good basic school for me. Ultimately, this was a very good step for me.

D.N. High School was one of the best schools in the state of Gujarat. It was founded by Dadabhai Navoriji, who started the first steel mill in India.  This boarding school had 300 students (4^th to 7^th Grade). We were boarded six (6) students in 15’ X 15’ room.  Each one was provided 5’X7’ space with a small bookcase and a small floor desk. We were supposed to bring with us a small 3’X6’ mat (centranji), a pillow, one blanket, towel, water glass (metal), dish (thali), bowl (vatki) and four/five pairs of clothes. We were supposed to sleep on a concrete floor on a mat throughout the year. We were supposed to clean our clothes, dishes and room every day.

Our day started at 5:00 am with a wake up alarm. The daily schedule was as follows.

            5 to 5:30 a.m. - morning chores

5:30 to 6:30 – Exercise

6:30 to 7:15 - Cold shower, wash clothes, etc.

7:15 to 7:45 - Breakfast,

7:45 to 10:00 - Study

10:00 – 11:00 - Lunch

11:00 – 5:00 - School

5:00 – 6:30 - Playtime, volleyball, field hockey, etc.

6:30 – 7:00 - Prayer

7:00 – 8:00 – Dinner (Go to the kitchen with your dish, bowl, glass, etc. and clean them yourself.)

8:00 – 10:00 - Study time.

10:00 pm – 5:00 am - sleep (on a mat, on the floor)

This was a daily routing Monday to Saturday except Sunday.

This was a very simple, structured life, which has provided me the ability to handle and solve all types of problems.

This high school life has developed my life in many ways physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

Harshad then entered Ruia College in Mumbai to study Chemistry and Physics.  After completing his B. Sc. Degree, he went back to Mombassa to work as a pharmaceutical sales representative with the Dumex Corporation.  This was a company that manufactured vitamins, prescription drugs and baby formula.  In the mean time, he got married to Varsha Vinubhai Patel.  She remained in Mumbai with family, as she was studying her B.A. degree in psychology at SNDT.  At some point in her stay in Mumbai, an “elder” told her that she would travel to join her husband, but further than either Africa, or England.  At that time, very few people were immigrating to the United States, and she did not even think that was a possibility.  This “elder” also told her that she would have a son when she turned 23 years old.  Both premonitions came true!

Unfortunately, things in Africa were not so good.  The times were turbulent for Indians, and Harshad thought that it would be best to leave.  He had always wanted to further his education, and applied for admission to Oklahoma State University, in Stillwater, Oklahoma.   So on August 4, 1959 Harshad left Mumbai on the SS Camboge headed to Marseille, France.  When he got to France, he took a train and ferry to London.  On September 4, 1959, he left via plane to New York City.

The Greyhound Bus was his mode of transport all the way to Tulsa, Oklahoma from New York City.   The cost of this bus ride was $25.  There were very few Indians in this area of the United States at that time, but he managed to live with another foreign student while completing his B.S in Mechanical Engineering.  His first job was with Wisconsin Motor in Milwaukee, and Varsha then joined him in August of 1962.  The following year, they had a son, and then two daughters.  They settled in Columbus, Indiana for many years, with some years in the Chicago area.  Presently, they are spending their retirement years in West Lafayette, Indiana, close to their son, Umesh and his family.

One of Harshad’s favorite memories of his father that illustrates Indian culture was his father’s work ethic.  His father, Himabhai Divalibhai Patel was a very strict parent, but he was also very courageous and enthusiastic about developing a sound agricultural system in India.  When Harshad was 15 years old, his father would take him out into the field to fix broken water pumps.  Sometimes they would have to go out at 2am in the night and then walk up to 3 miles in the dark to fix a broken belt.  Some of these tube wells were also 40-50 feet deep.   There were also many dangers along the way, such as snakes and wild animals.  They did meet a python along the way more than once!  At the site of the broken machinery, Harshad’s father taught him the engineering aspects of how to fix the broken belt on the pump.   This required persistence and hard work. These times spent with his father working together side by side were some of his fondest memories of childhood.

Hard work and persistence were two characteristics that Harshad used in his professional career in the US also.  He realized that in order to get ahead, Indians had to work hard.  In the early 1960’s, there was a significant amount of discrimination in American society.  He always felt that he had to work 10 times harder than his American counterparts to receive the same results such as a promotion or salary raise.  Harshad certainly feels that things are better today, but it is due to the hard work of the initial immigrants that made American society respect Indians. The initial ignorance about people from India was simply due to lack of exposure.  

Here is a bit of what Harshad Patel would like us to know about his life in his own words:

Having passed 1000 full moons, I have experienced and learned many things.  But one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is that guidance provided by parents, teachers, and some of the elders was the most useful to my successes with a minimum difficulties. My gratitude goes to them.

Hard work, good moral values, good logic, good education and minimum requirements will provide a good easy and successful life to the person.

In my past, during my high school days people did not have a lot of materials and money that make people today so happy. Instead we had lots of love that equated to our happiness. Love that I feel is lacking in today’s world.

From the years 1970-1992, Harshad and Varsha Patel continuously helped to put a family member through college. Bringing family members to the United States and helping them to become educated and successful citizens has brought the couple great joy.  Harshad’s final words in this interview were “Life has been good!”

As told to and written by: Tanuja Ranade Sheth