117. Our daughter's achievements and pursuit of excellence make us happy

Thousand Moons: Dr R.V.Boradkar and Mrs N.R.Boradkar
Contributed By: Dr R.V.Boradkar  

I was of the firm opinion that the environment in which the children live influences their choices later in life. Now I feel that this is only partially true. We lived in Surat’s medical college and hospital campus but none of my children showed interest in medicine, and did not choose it as a career. I learnt this when my daughter was in the twelfth standard and we wanted to find out what she intended to do. She was quite certain that she did not want to become a doctor, and we started to think of possible options. She had shown some interest in the fine arts, and while we supported that, we also wanted her to choose a discipline that offered good job opportunities. We believed that women must be economically independent, they should have a source of income based on their own skills, and should have the potential to earn a living.

In thinking of other options, one of the possibilities that emerged was architecture, and she showed a real interest in it. The government of Gujarat’s technical college offered a program in Architectural Assistantship and she chose that as her career path. She really enjoyed this course, worked very hard on all her projects, and got extremely good marks as a student. We also discovered her desire to achieve a high level of perfection in everything she did. This streak of perfectionism paid rich dividends to her later on. She fell in love with architecture, worked tirelessly over three years completing her projects and assignments on time and paying attention to every little detail of the work assigned to her. She appeared for the final and when the results were declared, to our profound joy we found that she had stood first in the state of Gujarat. This was moment of triumph for her and boundless joy for us. This also led to another remarkable achievement. She was offered an internship at Sangath, an architectural office run by renowned architect Balkrishna Doshi in Ahmedabad.

Now, of course, there was no stopping. We started looking for institutions that offered further training leading to a diploma in architecture. In Mumbai, an institution called Rachana Sansad accepted students into the second year of their program who had training in architectural assistantship. We approached the authorities with a request to admit her in third year rather than second considering her rank in the state of Gujarat and the prestigious internship. And though they typically did not do this, considering her achievements, they admitted her into the third year of the diploma program. This was another triumph for her that really pleased us. In due course, she got her diploma and became a full fledged architect. We felt happy, content and fulfilled. At that time we did not know that something else, equally if not more exciting, was to follow.

She worked with an architect in Surat for some time and then decided to go to Pune. She had got a job with another well known architect Christopher Beninger who had worked in Ahmedabad and had now opened an office in Pune. It was here that the perfectionist in her blossomed and her working style really paid off. Soon, she became a favorite of Mr. Beninger and later he recommended her to an architect friend of his by the name of Dolf Schnebli, who worked in Zurich, Switzerland. Manisha got the wonderful chance to be able to work in his office, and we were elated, or rather ecstatic. Getting a visa to Switzerland took a little time, but with a little assistance from Mr. Beninger, that too happened, and and we booked a direct flight for her to go to Zurich.

In Zurich, she stayed with Eberhard and Barbara Fischer. The Fischers had adopted two girls from Gujarat, and as Manisha knew Gujarati well, she took the time to teach them the language. The Fischers were so pleased with Manisha that they more or less adopted her as their third daughter. After her tenure of a year before returning to India she traveled through parts of Europe, England, and then to the US where our son Prasad was doing his master’s degree. From the US, she came back to Pune and continued working with Mr. Beninger again.

We learnt that in everything she does, Manisha is able to express her desire for perfection and attention to detail. Her achievements and pursuit of excellence make us happy to this date, and continues to fill our hearts with joy.

Dr R.V.Boradkar and Mrs N.R.Boradkar

 

116. My eyes were searching for my son and then I saw him...

Thousand Moon: Mrs. Nirmala Vidwans-Boradkar
Contributed By: Dr. Raghunath Boradkar 

My son Prasad went to US in 1991 after completing his Master degree in Industrial Design from Industrial Design Centre, IIT Pawai, Mumbai. His further studies he completed from Ohio State University and after that went to San Bernardino California. He could not come to India even for a short visit as there was some technical problem about his visa and we had to get it changed and the procedure took nearly a year or may be more. I was very keen on seeing him as six long years had passed and I had not met him. Ultimately I decided to go to San Bernardino but I was very scared of air travel and also going there alone. Dr Boradkar had a Job here in Pune and could not come as he had to wait for the summer vacation and we were in a fix. But it so happened that my cousins wife Mrs Veena Vidwans was going to San Jose to her son and I had company. She had travelled abroad often and we decided to go together.  My cousin Avinash too was to go after a month, so Dr Boradkar could come with him. We therefore made plans accordingly.

Our passports were ready but we had no visa so we applied for a visa. Getting a visa was an experience worth remembering as we waited from morning till evening in the US consulate. After a long wait my  turn came and I was asked why I wanted to go to US and I plainly told the man that I want see my son whom I have not seen for six years. Hearing this the interviewer told me that it was a poor reason. For a moment I was taken aback but the next moment he said I will give you a visa for six months and I was relieved. We had gone to Mumbai in the early morning and returned to Pune late night but happy.

 A very hectic time followed as I wanted to carry whole of India with me! From Chaklis that he liked to ‘Pohe’ that he loved. He was single so I had to carry some utensils also. My bags were full to their capacity. And then the day came. Our flight was Mumbai-London and London- San Francisco.  So on April 22^nd 1996 we boarded a plane for London. I was at ease as I just had to follow Veena. We got in to the plane and were seated and as the plane readied for the take-off I must have prayed to thousand Gods in the Indian pantheon and if I had known any other Gods from any other faith I would have prayed to them too. I clutched the seat handles with all my might and did not release the grip till the plane was settled in a horizontal cruise. Then I gradually became aware of my surroundings.  When the Air Hostess later approached us and asked us what we would like to have we both blurted out ‘A hot cup of Tea’? The Air Hostess was amused and gave us a surprised look.

We reached San Francisco some time at night and were duly picked up from the AirPort. Sachin [Veena’s son] had come to the Airport. We reached his home in San Jose and I tried to sleep but couldn’t. Prasad had given elaborate instructions to Sachin for my flight next day to Ontario. Veena was used to all this but I was a bit dazed. In the morning I got a call from Prasad and had a long talk with him. Later in the evening I was to see him and I could feel the tension leave my head.

Time flew. We had our lunch and I rested a little and then Sachin took me to the Airport again. This was a short flight of an hour or so. I got my boarding pass and Sachin was with me right up to the gate. He then left. I boarded the plane and felt the tension coming back again as I was alone but I also felt a sense of relief as I was to see Prasad in an hours’ time. I tried to relax. We landed at Ontario as scheduled. Ontario was a small Airport and we had to walk to the Airport building. As I walked, my eyes were searching for Prasad and as I reached the gate I saw him standing and waving.

I now was completely relaxed and happy. When I reached the gate he came forwards and hugged me and said ‘Aai tu aalis’ (mother you came). Seeing him touching him and feeling the nearness of him gave me the joy that only a mother can know.

It is said that a moment comes but comes only once in life and for me this was that moment!

Sou. Nirmala Vidwans-Boradkar

115. Graceful Acceptance

Thousand Moon: Mrs. Saraswathi Ramaiyer

Contributed By: Savithri Devaraj

Meet Mrs. Saraswathi Ramaiyer, born on September 10, 1925 in Bangalore into a family of 6 brothers and a sister. Though physically frail, her spirit is fresh and strong.

She spent most of her childhood and schooling years at Bengaluru. When she was in high school (9^th grade), her father, a police inspector, was transferred to Chikkamagaluru.  Though an ardent student interested in pursuing higher studies, she was not allowed to continue high school as it was a 2 mile walk from home to a co-education high school in the new town. She says “In those days, girls from respectable families didn’t go to co-ed schools or walk long distances”. I could clearly see the regret in her eyes, when she said her brothers all went ahead to become electrical, mechanical and civil engineers, but she and her sister had to discontinue studies, and pursue other activities like stitching and arts in a community center. Then, two years later, her father was transferred to Mysore and a couple of years after that, back to Bangalore. She regrets that her education came to an end so soon.  During her stay in Mysore, she has vivid memories of the Maharaja’s Dasara procession, Nalmudi Krishnaraja Wadeyar in all his grandeur. One year she remembers her paternal aunt, who had tuberculosis, visiting them to view the Dasara procession. Her father arranged it such that the procession took a tiny detour to come in front of their house so that the aunt could see the procession from their home. 

She married Sri Ramaiyer in 1943 at the age of 18 in Devarayasamudra, a small village near Kolar where she continues her life even to this day. She observes with a smile – “during those days generally people who lived in villages got married and moved into towns and cities, but I on the other hand, moved from being a city girl to a village. My sister was married in Bengaluru and went to live with her husband in Varanasi and later Mumbai. Still I was very satisfied with my father’s choice, I had no complaints”. And this pleasant acceptance of whatever comes is still evident in her today – she has lost most of her peers including two brothers, her sister and her husband , but still is cheerful and without complaints. After marriage, she was introduced into the large joint family in the village. Ramaiyer, and older brother Venkatesha Iyer’s families along with their parents lived in harmony in the village. The brothers were agriculturists and had large areas of land where grains, coconuts, tamarind etc was grown. The house had living quarters around an open quadrangle. Even today, it stands the same with a few additional bathrooms. All housework, including cooking, cleaning and caring for kids, was shared in the family. After all the house work, Smt Saraswathi, being an industrious lady, started conducting kindergarten classes for some 40 village kids.  That continued for a couple of years until family life got hectic with schools and activities. She completely supported her husband in all his activities and the house was like a boarding home for all visitors to the village; there were always a few extra folks for meals. They had a dozen cows supplying sumptuous milk and curds for several families in the village.  Dozens of families received support in numerous ways including grains, jobs and monetary help.

She remembers the Indian Independence movement and the strife that came after partition in 1948. Her dad retired from the police force that year and settled down in Bengaluru. Although the city was far away from the partition line, she says there were lots of agitations and skirmishes, and the family was asked to stay away from Bengaluru in the village. Her father was a generous man; though a man of modest means, she remembers him borrowing money on interest to help someone in need of money for pursuing his studies. Such was his love for education, no wonder he named his daughters Sarada and Saraswathi. One thing I clearly got from the conversation – she is very proud of her father, and she clearly takes after him.  In spite of the fact that he didn’t allow her to study further, she is proud of her ASP (Assistant Superintendent of Police) father who earned Rs300 a month and supported six boys, and several other known boys,  in their higher studies. She gracefully accepts all this as a sign of her times. Here is a picture of her father who passed away in 1962.

Today, at 89, Smt Saraswathi is still greatly respected in the village. She spends time on and off with her two daughters and sons in Bangalore, but is ever ready to go back to her home in the village. She still enjoys cooking, TV programs and conversing with her brothers, children and grand children. Thanks to this conversation, I got to know her much better than I ever did in the last 27 years. She is my mother-in-law.