115. Graceful Acceptance

Thousand Moon: Mrs. Saraswathi Ramaiyer

Contributed By: Savithri Devaraj

Meet Mrs. Saraswathi Ramaiyer, born on September 10, 1925 in Bangalore into a family of 6 brothers and a sister. Though physically frail, her spirit is fresh and strong.

She spent most of her childhood and schooling years at Bengaluru. When she was in high school (9^th grade), her father, a police inspector, was transferred to Chikkamagaluru.  Though an ardent student interested in pursuing higher studies, she was not allowed to continue high school as it was a 2 mile walk from home to a co-education high school in the new town. She says “In those days, girls from respectable families didn’t go to co-ed schools or walk long distances”. I could clearly see the regret in her eyes, when she said her brothers all went ahead to become electrical, mechanical and civil engineers, but she and her sister had to discontinue studies, and pursue other activities like stitching and arts in a community center. Then, two years later, her father was transferred to Mysore and a couple of years after that, back to Bangalore. She regrets that her education came to an end so soon.  During her stay in Mysore, she has vivid memories of the Maharaja’s Dasara procession, Nalmudi Krishnaraja Wadeyar in all his grandeur. One year she remembers her paternal aunt, who had tuberculosis, visiting them to view the Dasara procession. Her father arranged it such that the procession took a tiny detour to come in front of their house so that the aunt could see the procession from their home. 

She married Sri Ramaiyer in 1943 at the age of 18 in Devarayasamudra, a small village near Kolar where she continues her life even to this day. She observes with a smile – “during those days generally people who lived in villages got married and moved into towns and cities, but I on the other hand, moved from being a city girl to a village. My sister was married in Bengaluru and went to live with her husband in Varanasi and later Mumbai. Still I was very satisfied with my father’s choice, I had no complaints”. And this pleasant acceptance of whatever comes is still evident in her today – she has lost most of her peers including two brothers, her sister and her husband , but still is cheerful and without complaints. After marriage, she was introduced into the large joint family in the village. Ramaiyer, and older brother Venkatesha Iyer’s families along with their parents lived in harmony in the village. The brothers were agriculturists and had large areas of land where grains, coconuts, tamarind etc was grown. The house had living quarters around an open quadrangle. Even today, it stands the same with a few additional bathrooms. All housework, including cooking, cleaning and caring for kids, was shared in the family. After all the house work, Smt Saraswathi, being an industrious lady, started conducting kindergarten classes for some 40 village kids.  That continued for a couple of years until family life got hectic with schools and activities. She completely supported her husband in all his activities and the house was like a boarding home for all visitors to the village; there were always a few extra folks for meals. They had a dozen cows supplying sumptuous milk and curds for several families in the village.  Dozens of families received support in numerous ways including grains, jobs and monetary help.

She remembers the Indian Independence movement and the strife that came after partition in 1948. Her dad retired from the police force that year and settled down in Bengaluru. Although the city was far away from the partition line, she says there were lots of agitations and skirmishes, and the family was asked to stay away from Bengaluru in the village. Her father was a generous man; though a man of modest means, she remembers him borrowing money on interest to help someone in need of money for pursuing his studies. Such was his love for education, no wonder he named his daughters Sarada and Saraswathi. One thing I clearly got from the conversation – she is very proud of her father, and she clearly takes after him.  In spite of the fact that he didn’t allow her to study further, she is proud of her ASP (Assistant Superintendent of Police) father who earned Rs300 a month and supported six boys, and several other known boys,  in their higher studies. She gracefully accepts all this as a sign of her times. Here is a picture of her father who passed away in 1962.

Today, at 89, Smt Saraswathi is still greatly respected in the village. She spends time on and off with her two daughters and sons in Bangalore, but is ever ready to go back to her home in the village. She still enjoys cooking, TV programs and conversing with her brothers, children and grand children. Thanks to this conversation, I got to know her much better than I ever did in the last 27 years. She is my mother-in-law.