54. If I cannot feel other’s pain I do not have a right to be called a human being

Thousand Moon: Dr. Usha Kelkar (83+)

Contributed by: Rohini Abhyankar

I met Dr. Usha Kelkar at the Kelkar sammelan at Pune in July 2012. She was sitting at the end of the row wearing a light blue sari, resting one leg (that was in a cast) on a chair in front of her, her cane resting by her side.  She looked beautiful, intelligent and much younger than her age.  When I expressed my wish about getting one pleasant memory from her for the blog she promised to call me the following day after giving some thought to what she would say.

We started our phone conversation next day with the usual pleasantries and gradually came to the deeper philosophical musings and her not so pleasant memories. She talked with ease and heartfelt sincerity. I became her writer…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have always been fond of horses and dogs. The last dog I had was named Dash. I used to come to Pune for work and we used to live in Chinchvad, Dash was a big and strong dog and it was increasingly becoming difficult to look after him due to my travels. On one such occasion when I was in Pune my mother decided to give him a bath but something went wrong there. He had ticks and maybe there was an open wound but when my mother started to bathe him with mild soap (Dettol) and water he was greatly perturbed and since my mother could not hear very well she could not sense his discomfort and eventually he bit both her hands. She fell and became unconscious…

After her recovery we decided to give Dash up for adoption. A famous Rancher came forward and promised to take good care of him. But I regret that decision for I learnt later that he was tortured as a means to get him disciplined. I can feel what Dash must have felt, how he must have been totally lost…animals cannot even express themselves. I still feel his pain and I apologize to his memory and ask for his pardon over and over…

I have yet another prick. I was much younger then and in college. The way back home was by the side of a canal. There would be hundreds of butterflies on the bushes by that canal. I would take pleasure in scaring them by hitting the bushes with a stick. The man servant who accompanied me would plead with me not to do that and would try to scare me by saying that he would complain to my grandmother but I was young and foolish then. I still remember how some of the injured butterflies would flutter on the ground when ants would carry them away…I feel their pain now. I apologize to them and to my own ‘atma’ many times.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dr. Kelkar was speaking very earnestly. She narrated yet another incidence where one of her neighbor’s three year old son got lost on Girgaon chaupati but miraculously found his way back home!

Dr. Kelkar was experiencing the joys and sorrows of the past as she spoke to me. She later told me that now she has turned to spirituality and has written articles and books on the subject. She recommended a couple of books on Upanishads for me to read. And as I was taking her leave she summed up the gist of our conversation in these words, “If I cannot feel other’s pain I do not have a right to be called a human being”