Manda
Interviewee: Manda, Interviewer: Rohini, Via: Phone, Date: 4/25/11
Even today at the age of 82 it is difficult to find Manda idle, free to chat particularly in the morning hours when she keeps busy with house hold activities. I called Manda a couple of times, before I could find her with few minutes to spare(you cannot imagine how hard it is for me to refer to all these elderly folks by their first names…it’s just not done in the Indian culture. We also never address our elders in ‘first person singular’ but always address them with respect, it is like “usted” in Spanish there is no parallel in English). I explained why I had called and asked her whether she was in the middle of something. “Yes kind of... morning time is always busy but you go ahead what’s on your mind?”
Age: 82 yrs
Birth Place: Kolhapur, India
Background information: Manda grew up in a joint family with uncles and aunts. Her father had passed away when she was very young. She comes from a highly educated family of well known writer, scientists and professors. She is well versed in English and Sanskrit. Manda has been a home maker and the woman behind her successful well known late husband.
Rohini: So if I ask you to describe a happy memory what would you say?
Manda: What should I say…? Well I will tell you one of ‘his’ memories. Actually it is both of our memories. (Traditional Indian women will not mention their husband by name. So “His” means husband’s)
Rohini: Sure you can tell me about it first and then tell me one that is just yours.
Manda: There is nothing just mine…it is all together. …This was when he turned 75. All the people came and did his “Tula” on the grounds of “Brahman Sabha”. (For those who may not know what a Tula Ceremony is: Tula is a Sanskrit word for scale. When a person turns a land mark age of 60, 75, 81 or 100 he is made to sit in one pan of a big scale that is big enough to hold grownups and in the other pan he is weighed against gold, silver, sugar or any other valued commodity which is then given away in charity to the needy). It was a very happy moment for me to see his Tula and particularly because the people did it on their own out of love and respect for him.
Rohini: What was he weighed against?
Manda: Books. (Manda’s husband did a lot of work for educational institutions and books seemed very appropriate for a man of his stature)The Tula was in books. He had worked a lot all his life doing selfless service. Principals of all these big schools and colleges would come to our house to see him I remember one day a group of such accomplished individuals came and it was the day of “Sankrant”( an Indian festival when the Sun begins to move north word, falls on Jan 14th ) and I had made Til-Gul(Sweets made with sesame seeds and jaggry) The Til-Gul had turned out excellent and they all loved it. Although I could understand English perfectly well all those people kept gesturing and saying that the sweets were real good and wanted me to pack some for them to take home. It was funny…I laughed and laughed…
We chatted some more and before closing she extended an invitation for me to visit her during my next trip to India.
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