7: The day I adopted my first son...

                                                                       Marie

Interviewee: Marie   Interviewer: Anonymous.

Background info: Marie is 82 years of age, born in Alabama, one of 8 siblings. She moved to Arizona with her husband in the 1950's and has made it home since.

I explained the thousand full moons project to her, she was mildly amused that she has lived through more than a thousand moons, she accepted the fact with steady equanimity, much like she must accept life in general, I imagined.

"Will you share a happy memory of your life with me", I asked, she contemplated, and was quick to answer, “the day I adopted my first son, David, is the happiest day of my life"...

Marie could not have biological children, she explained, as I intently listened.

Marie is tall, slender, with a nicely sculpted face, large, expressive eyes. She is quite strikingly beautiful in fact, I have complemented her so before, and she accepts the complement with a dismissive yet graceful wave of her hand.

"No matter, I told myself, so what, if I am not meant to bear a child? There are so many children in this world who need parents, a steady family...a permanence of love in their life. I adopted David, oh, the joy!! I then went on to adopt three more children and each adoption has brought me such a joy....these, without a doubt, are the happiest periods in my life."

We parted.  "Permanence of love..." her phrase resonated in my mind and still does, and will continue to do so; lot to reflect on, the permanence of love......

Note: The contributor  wishes to remain anonymous.

6: My Husband's 'Tula' Ceremony...

Manda

Interviewee: Manda, Interviewer: Rohini, Via: Phone, Date: 4/25/11

Even today at the age of 82 it is difficult to find Manda idle, free to chat particularly in the morning hours when she keeps busy with house hold activities. I called Manda a couple of times, before I could find her with few minutes to spare(you cannot imagine how hard it is for me to refer to all these elderly folks by their first names…it’s just not done in the Indian culture. We also never address our elders in ‘first person singular’ but always address them with respect, it is like “usted” in Spanish there is no parallel in English). I explained why I had called and asked her whether she was in the middle of something.  “Yes kind of... morning time is always busy but you go ahead what’s on your mind?”

Age: 82 yrs

Birth Place: Kolhapur, India

Background information: Manda grew up in a joint family with uncles and aunts. Her father had passed away when she was very young. She comes from a highly educated family of well known writer, scientists and professors. She is well versed in English and Sanskrit.  Manda has been a home maker and the woman behind her successful well known late husband.

Rohini: So if I ask you to describe a happy memory what would you say?

Manda: What should I say…? Well I will tell you one of ‘his’ memories. Actually it is both of our memories. (Traditional Indian women will not mention their husband by name. So “His” means husband’s)

Rohini: Sure you can tell me about it first and then tell me one that is just yours.

Manda: There is nothing just mine…it is all together. …This was when he turned 75. All the people came and did his “Tula” on the grounds of “Brahman Sabha”. (For those who may not know what a Tula Ceremony is: Tula is a Sanskrit word for scale. When a person turns a land mark age of 60, 75, 81 or 100 he is made to sit in one pan of a big scale that is big enough to hold grownups and in the other pan he is weighed against gold, silver, sugar or any other valued commodity which is then given away in charity to the needy). It was a very happy moment for me to see his Tula and particularly because the people did it on their own out of love and respect for him.

Rohini: What was he weighed against?

Manda: Books. (Manda’s husband did a lot of work for educational institutions and books seemed very appropriate for a man of his stature)The Tula was in books. He had worked a lot all his life doing selfless service. Principals of all these big schools and colleges would come to our house to see him I remember one day a group of such accomplished individuals came and it was the day of “Sankrant”( an Indian festival when the Sun begins to move north word, falls on Jan 14^th ) and I had made Til-Gul(Sweets made with sesame seeds and jaggry) The Til-Gul had turned out excellent and they all loved it. Although I could understand English perfectly well all those people kept gesturing and saying that the sweets were real good and wanted me to pack some for them to take home. It was funny…I laughed and laughed…

We chatted some more and before closing she extended an invitation for me to visit her during my next trip to India.

5: True love and admiration along with great thankfulness...

Herb

It is amazing that people take time to go out of their way to spend some quality time with the elderly

In the hermitage of thousand moons the rivers shrink, the banks grow tall

dry is the forest dry are the fields dry are the leaves from spring to fall

In the hermitage of thousand moons stand trees of affection serene ‘n peaceful

accidental visitor is showered with love as time the witness ever merciful

Interviewee:  Bette, Interviewer: Linda

I was making lunch for Herb and Betty along with Bette and Fred.  I explained the 1000 full moon project to them all.  Here are their responses.

I sensed in Herb's voice true love and admiration along with great thankfulness as he described his best memory.  Although it comes across as two to us it is one for him.

Age: 82

My best memory was meeting my first wife and my current co-habitator.  Life with my first wife was a good one.  With my current co-habitator I have done many things I didn't get to do with my first wife.  We have enjoyed traveling among other things.

4: Marriage and Getting to work in Washington DC after I graduated...

Bette

It is amazing that people take time to go out of their way to spend some quality time with the elderly

In the hermitage of thousand moons sky is wrinkled soft and gray

The Sun is dim and blurry and the evening is here for a long stay

In the hermitage of thousand moons, mountains of memories bitter and sweet

Mines of experiences and oceans of wisdom deep many a thousand feet

Interviewee:  Bette, Interviewer: Linda

Age: 84

 I was making lunch for Herb and Betty along with Bette and Fred.  I explained the 1000 full moon project to them all.  Here are their responses.

Bette born 1-13-27

Bette’s happy memory was marrying Fred.  Getting to work in Washington DC after I graduated from high school holds many fond memories for me.

3: When my sister and I passed the Matric exam...

Interviewee: Malati, Interviewer: Rohini, Via: Phone, Date: 4/19/11

I called Malati at about 9:30 AM her time(you cannot imagine how hard it is for me to refer to all these elderly folks by their first names…it’s just not done in the Indian culture. We also never address our elders in ‘first person singular’ but always address them with respect, it is like “usted” in Spanish there is no parallel in English). I explained why I had called and asked her whether she was in the middle of something.  “No you go ahead” She said, “I was praying…but God will wait…he doesn’t get mad” She chuckled, and so we began.

Age: 84 yrs

Birth Place: Maharashtra, India

Background information: Malati is one of the 4 siblings. Her father was a school teacher and her mother had passed away when she was very little. After marriage she has lived in Bombay till today. She is skilled at many things cooking being one of them. After navigating a little through different turns of her life like her childhood, the years when she taught at the girl’s school, time when she came to Bombay she settled on the time when she had just finished her ‘Matric’ exams. These are the final school leaving board exams.

Rohini: What was Matric exam?

Malati: It is the final school leaving exam, a board exam.

Rohini: Oh a Matriculate exam? Was it Nationwide?

Malati: I think it was state wide…Me and my elder sister had both taken the exam the same year. She had lost a couple of years when my mother had passed away. So now we both were taking the exam together…and the result would be published in the news paper not like today via phone or what you call it…your internet. My friend used to live in the next compound. They would get the news paper…and one day in the wee hours of the morning I remember my friend and her sister both came to our door with flash light in one hand and coconut sweets in the other and called me and my sister from outside, “Mali, Durgi, you both passed! Malati laughed. She was re-living the moment again. Enjoying passing the exam with her dear sister!

Rohini: Did your friends wear saris? I want to visualize them…

Malati: Yes my friend was wearing a 9 yard sari; her younger sister wore a 5 yard sari just like my younger sister. I and my older sister wore 9 yard saris too. It was only after 5 years or so that we started wearing 5 yard saris…but that apart these two came in their saris with flash lights and sweets.

Rohini: So what did you do after that?

Malati: Nothing…there was no college in our town then. So I became a school teacher in the same girls school where I had studied…the college came after a year. But my brother went to college.

(Suddenly there was a very loud sound of some fire crackers in the background. She could not hear me anymore). When the noise stopped after a good 45 seconds she explained that it is birthday of some long gone leader.

We chatted some more after that till the phone got disconnected for no apparent reason,... by chance… or maybe it was a gentle reminder for me that she needed to return to what she was doing…

2:Birth of My First Child...

Alice

Interviewee: Alice, Interviewer: Rohini, in person at the Gilbert senior center, Date: 4/18/11

Age: 82 yrs.

Birth Place: Illinois, USA

It was 3:00 O’clock in the afternoon.  I wanted to drop off the 1000 moons project flier at the Gilbert Senior center. As expected the place was deserted. TV was playing, a couple of cafeteria workers were sitting in the dining hall and chatting. There was one girl at the front desk and three people in the center coordinator’s office. I went in, introduced myself and started explaining my project to the co-coordinator.  It was received very well; the lady was helpful and seemed to like the idea. As I was leaving after thanking her, Alice who was sitting in a chair by the window asked for a flyer. Alice had a walking stick next to her, was wearing a blue dress and had a pleasant expression. I asked her how old she was and on hearing that she was 82, requested that she describe one of her pleasant memories to me.

Background information: Alice was born in a family with three sisters. She has worked all her life. Still works part time and drives herself to work. She has lived in Mesa for over 53 years.

Rohini: So Alice would you please describe one of the happy memories you have?

Alice: Yes that would be when my first daughter was born.

Rohini: Where was this?

Alice: In Illinois.

And here is the summary of our conversation:

Alice: It was during day time that my husband took me to the hospital. It was a relatively short labor…and then my daughter was born. It was a miracle. Only god can create a miracle like that.

She (her daughter) was a big baby. I was in the hospital for a week and they all used to tease me. They would say that my daughter kept all other babies awake since she was so big…

Rohini: How old is your daughter now?

Alice: sixty one! (We both laughed as we shifted gears visualizing the “baby” that we were just talking about, was now really 61!) Alice had a beautiful laugh.

She asked me about my whereabouts. I also told her that she was going to be number 2 on the blog and I had 998 to go.

She put her hand on mine and said in her soft almost feeble voice “Just leave it to the Lord and he will do it for you”

I fell silent as the conviction behind her sentence hit me….

1:Physical Education Course: One of the best years in my life

Baba

Interviewee: SSA (Baba), Interviewer: Rohini, Via: Phone, Date: 4/15/11

After explaining the purpose of my phone call Baba expressed his happiness over the project and gave me many suggestions to make the project a success. I noted down the ideas he put forth and then we began the interview.

Age: 82 yrs

Birth Place: Ganapati Pule, Maharashtra, India

Background information: Baba had six brothers and a sister. Three brothers and a sister are no more.

He did his schooling in Girgaon and moved to Pune to live with his maternal uncle for college. He retired as a school teacher.

Rohini: If you were to think back can you tell me what was the happiest period of your life? Was it your school years or was it your college days? Was it when you were working…..?

Baba: When I did my Physical Education teacher training, I had the most fun. May be I will just tell you about that. That year was the best year of my life. I was 31 years old. I had only one son then he was very little. The school where I used to teach needed someone who was trained in Physical Education.

I volunteered. The school paid for all my expenses. I went to Kandiwali for the year long course. I had 60 other students with me. I was one of the oldest in class. Others were young and had a lot more energy than I did. We all used to live in a hostel. Eat at restaurants and work very hard during the day. I learned all about different games and physical fitness. We had to play sports, learn rules and exercise quite a lot. But I had determination to complete this because the school needed a trained member on their staff. Looking back, I am very proud of myself for doing that. The funny thing is that two years prior to this I had applied for the same course but when I returned after applying I fell sick with Typhoid and was down for over a month. My mother had come to live with us then to help out. But this time all went well. My expenses were also covered by the school. As a result of this one year I became physically much stronger than before. I can tell you many more memories but this by far was the best year, most memorable for me….

“So are we done?” he asked a little hastily.

I believe there was a flood of good memories and Baba wanted to ride the waves like an expert surfer. So I promised to call again soon and left him to enjoy his surfing…