132. Fulfilled!

Thousand Full Moon: Dr. Nalini Varadpande(81+)

Contributed By: Dr. Raghunath Boradkar 

Shrimati Dr. Nalini Varadpande retired as a Professor and Head, Department of Home Science from Morris College Nagpur now known as Nagpur Nagar Mahavidyalaya. She did her M.Sc. [Child Development] from MSU Baroda and her Ph.D. from Nagpur University. She lives in Nagpur enjoys playing Rummy and is very Prolife with an exceedingly positive attitude that baffles a pessimist like me! Here she narrates an account of her memorable experience which as she calls it is ‘Simply Unforgettable’. Here it is and mostly in her words.

I completed 81 and entered 82 qualifying myself for a ‘Sahasra Chandra Darshan Sohala’ Thousand full moon celebration as per our ‘Shastras’ scriptures. Though not literally I had seen 1001 full moon days. My life’s script rolled before my eyes as I thought of it. Memories of all sorts good and bad, pleasant and unpleasant, significant and insignificant, success and failure crowded my mind and selecting a single eventful episode appeared to be  a ‘Herculean job’. At the same time lots of Joyful moments and experiences surfaced from the unconscious to the conscious and made their presence felt.  There were moments of pride witnessing the success of my Son, Daughters and grandsons. And yet my mind searched for a moment that was my own and a very personal one. And then suddenly this Unforgettable Episode appeared before my eyes from my earlier days.

My husband Baba was a commissioned officer in the Indian Army and was then posted at Sugar sector near Simla. The place was about 1100 feet higher than Simla there were about 18/20 tents all surrounded by snow and he was to stay there for a minimum period of six months.  To me it seemed like a stretched time interval and unbearable. There was no contact with him excepting through the mail. And the letters had to be addressed to 56 A.P.O. They could be opened and read for security reasons and hence used to be totally insipid and uninteresting.

Every week he had to come to Simla either for weekly ration or some other work. He used to call me from there.  But it was not always that we could talk .Frequent interruptions were common and irritating and I used to feel terrible. But I knew there was no go.

And then one day he called me from Simla and my happiness knew no bounds. A call for two minutes went on lingering in my mind for two days. He had just said ‘I am coming next week’. We were all happy that the six months isolation was to end soon. I started counting days but hardly ever anything happens smoothly and without any tensions and so I had my moments of tension. Just two days before he was to arrive we received a news that out of the six jeeps that had started for Simla two were swept away by an avalanche. The news was tragic but no more information was available from the command office.  I was gripped with anxiety and hardly knew what to do. My prime concern was his safety but everything seemed uncertain and we could do nothing .I am not a believer but I immersed a Ganapati idol in water and started praying for his safe arrival. And lo a day before he was to arrive the phone rang and I heard the familiar voice saying ‘Nale I am coming by Rajdhani Express and will reach tomorrow’. My prayers were answered and the first thing I did was to place some sweets before the Idol of Ganapati albeit after taking him out of water!

The day he was to arrive we all decided to stay at home.  The house was ready to welcome him. My daughters Anjali and Manju decorated the house and had drawn a beautiful Rangoli and my son Mohan had brought roses. We went to the station to receive him and when I saw him getting down from the compartment I literarily ran and hugged him without bothering about the crowd on the platform. My eyes were full of tears but they were tears of joy.

I went to the college the next day for some time but was unable to concentrate. I had already decided to take leave on Monday and Tuesday. I tried to concentrate on work for a while but could hardly do so. So I told my colleagues to look after work telling them that they should call me in case something important crept up and left for home in a jiffy. I must have hardly spent two hours in the college. All the while I was thinking of preparing something that he liked to eat. When I reached home I found an official envelope on the table. Curious I opened it and read the letter and lost my temper. His leave had been cancelled and he was asked to report immediately. I was so furious that I could hardly speak. A question that I felt like asking was ‘Why did they sanction the leave when they were to cancel it and Do they not have families to think of’? To give vent to my feelings I started crying. I calmed down after a while. In the meanwhile Baba had seized the situation and to ease the tension said ‘Nale lets have some tea and onion pakoras as I haven’t eaten them for some time and that too prepared by you. I will get things ready for you. Rather than easing the prevailing tense atmosphere I got angrier than before and wondered how he could think of Pakoras when his leave was cancelled and he had to report immediately. I even asked myself if he was really ignoring us and had stopped loving us. I openly gave vent to my feelings. Realizing that things were getting out of control he then said to his cousin who was there ‘Manohar Tell her everything or else we will get no tea and pakoras and she will spoil everything’. Then Manohar told me that he had taken out the original letter and replaced it with a fake one cancelling the leave. He had cleverly forged the signature and all this was done as a joke to harass me. With this the tense environment turned in to a joyous relaxed one and I could only say ‘What a cruel joke’. I just slapped him on his back and went to the kitchen and fetched the tea and the piping hot pakoras for the party. What had happened then has now turned in to a Simply Unforgettable Moment.

About a month back my children with their children celebrated my 81^st Birthday with ample gusto. We went to a beautiful holiday resort and enjoyed fully. We did some boating played games danced and shared happiness and I felt these were the most exquisite moments in my life. All my near and dear ones were there and I said to myself ‘This is life and I enjoy it’ I am happy and content. Dhanyoham. Fulfilled!

Dr Nalini Varadpande M.Sc. P.Hd.

131. A bouquet of cherished memories

Thousand Full Moon: Smt. Kamal Shende (93+)

Contributed/Summarized By: Varsha Joshi

“I have put together a bouquet of the happiest moments of my life, reserving pride of place in the center, for one flower, my visit to The Vivekananda Memorial and Ramakrishna mission in Chicago that was facilitated by my oldest grandson and his wife. I revered it as pilgrimage (काशी-यात्रा)!” Smt. Kamal Shende pens these thoughts when summarizing the most joyous moments of her life. At age 93, she lives her life with the passion and zeal of a young retiree half her age. With multifarious interests and talents, be it whipping up culinary delights, artistic creations, an intellectual debate on a current topic or attending sports events, Kamal Tai is a winner, hands down.

After an elementary school education till 4^th grade at Parle Tilak Vidyalay, Vile Parle, Kamal Tai went to St. Columba's boarding school in Mumbai for matriculation.  The guided supervision of British sisters at St. Columba’s and the experience of living in a hostel taught her the value of time and the importance of staying “as busy as a busy bee”.  As was customary in those times, she got married right after matriculation.  Adjusting into a conservative family, in pre-independence India was challenging for young Kamal, who was used to playing sports and pursuing her interests outside the kitchen. She credits her older co-sister and her mother-in-law for teaching her the family traditions and ways.  Notwithstanding her mother-in-law’s initial displeasure, young Kamal got actively involved in the local ladies club (Mahila samaj), at the behest of social worker Smt. Ramabai Sathe.  The Mahila samaj afforded her the opportunity to explore and develop her many talents, and she won numerous awards and medals for the Samaj in cooking, drama and debate competitions. When hit by the tragic demise of her younger sister, Kamal Tai got certified in Montessori education, graduating again at the top of her class, and took up a job. She credits her younger co-sister for helping her during this endeavor, which allowed her to deal with loss of her sister.  She endured two other tragedies with the untimely demise of her husband and that of a young great grandson.   

When Kamal Tai reflects on the various ups and downs of her life, she finds it ironic that she should live to see what ninety looks like. Nevertheless, she feels proud to have witnessed the third generation being successful responsible adults and has also welcomed six great grandson into the fold!

Although she couldn’t fulfill her desire to obtain higher education, the fact that all three of her daughters and all of her grandchildren have not only earned degrees from top-notch educational institutes of international repute but also won prestigious accolades is a source of tremendous joy to Kamal Tai. She feels very happy that although, in keeping with the times, her family dispersed out of the ancestral home and relocated into more convenient quarters, the younger generations have continued to celebrate family traditions and religious commitments as one.  ("दूर असलो तरी एकमेकांना जोडून आहोत”) “We may be physically apart but we are still one family”, she says.  Thanks to her youngest daughter Sandhya and son-in-law Rajiv, celebrating her 75^th and 80^th birthdays in far away America have been memorable joyous events to this nonagenarian. 

While on her first visit to the USA, Kamal Tai’s oldest grandson Vihang and his wife took her on a trip to Chicago to visit the site where the first Parliament of the World’s Religions was held in 1893. At that conference, Swami Vivekananda, a chief disciple of Ramakrishna Paramahansa, who was also her guru, had represented Hinduism and endeared himself to the whole world after giving his maiden speech.  She considers herself extremely fortunate to have been able to pay homage to this sacred site. That trip had turned in to a fulfilling pilgrimage for her as she was then taken to visit the Ramakrishna Mission center in Chicago and receive Prasad there. She remembers how, overcome with emotion, she had turned to thank her grandson for taking her there and how even before she could say anything he had said he understood her joy. "It is only by the Guru's grace that we are both here", he had said.

"Could there be any bigger moment of bliss?"

130. My wanderlust has been quenched!!

Thousand Moon: Shri. Sharad Moreshwar Phatak 82+

Contributed By: Rohini

I met Shri. Sharad Phatak on a pre-monsoon hot summer afternoon in Mumbai. The grandchildren were summoned by their mother to listen and learn from their grandpa’s musings. Shri. Shard Phatak, generally a man of few words with a ravishing smile was quite pleased to share his experiences with me.

Shri. Sharad Phatak an electrical aircraft maintenance expert, a voracious reader and a skilled swimmer hails from the small town of Dahanu about 90 KMs from Mumbai. He was raised along with his four brothers and a sister by his father who was an art teacher. Early demise of his mother taught all his siblings dignity of labor and value of doing all the household chores. Upon his mother’s insistence his eldest brother was enrolled in medical school but all other children did not have the luxury of higher education.

After passing high school Shri. Sharad Phatak joined the Indian Air Force in the Technical Apprentice program where he received Aircraft Electrical maintenance training in return for 15 years of service. He chuckled when he mentioned that he has been a pensioner for much longer than the actual service he rendered to the AF. He fondly reminisced over the two years of training with the AF in Bangalore and stopped short of saying that that was the best period of his life. He credits the AF for making him a disciplined, organized, and meticulous individual. During the initial training phase there was an outbreak of measles on the campus which proved to be a boon in disguisesince his entire class was sent to Mysore for sightseeing.

He mentioned that there never is peace on the border. AF wives have to deal with many a difficulties and that is the primary reason why few people want to marry their daughters to AF men. When he married Kumud, his wife he told her that he would be done with the AF in six years and would take up a civilian job. Another important reason why she agreed to marry him was because an astrologer once had told her that her future husband would work on aircrafts!

He got an opportunity to travel to Russia for training where he learned to ski. Also was posted at Pangong Lake for a while. He vividly recollects his flight to Russia which extended to three days rather than the usual one.On the first leg a child got sick and the aircraft had to make an emergency landing at Lahore. When they took off again one of the engines failed and they had to return to Delhi. The third try was successful and the reached Russia!

Retirement from Airforce lead to a job with Indian Airlines that enabled him to travel extensively within the country and outside. He has visited Bangkok, Singapore, Delhi, Gwalior, Agra, Bhopal Ujjain, Hyderabad, and Andaman. 

His last remark as we wrapped up our conversation was, “My wanderlust has been quenched!!”