Thousand Full
Moon: Smt. Kamal Shende (93+)
Contributed/Summarized
By: Varsha Joshi
“I have put
together a bouquet of the happiest moments of my life, reserving pride of place
in the center, for one flower, my visit to The Vivekananda Memorial and
Ramakrishna mission in Chicago that was facilitated by my oldest grandson and
his wife. I revered it as pilgrimage (काशी-यात्रा)!” Smt. Kamal Shende pens these thoughts when summarizing the
most joyous moments of her life. At age 93, she lives her life with the passion
and zeal of a young retiree half her age. With multifarious interests and
talents, be it whipping up culinary delights, artistic creations, an intellectual
debate on a current topic or attending sports events, Kamal Tai is a winner,
hands down.
After an elementary school education till 4th grade at Parle Tilak Vidyalay, Vile Parle, Kamal Tai went to St. Columba's boarding school in Mumbai for matriculation. The guided supervision of British sisters at St. Columba’s and the experience of living in a hostel taught her the value of time and the importance of staying “as busy as a busy bee”. As was customary in those times, she got married right after matriculation. Adjusting into a conservative family, in pre-independence India was challenging for young Kamal, who was used to playing sports and pursuing her interests outside the kitchen. She credits her older co-sister and her mother-in-law for teaching her the family traditions and ways. Notwithstanding her mother-in-law’s initial displeasure, young Kamal got actively involved in the local ladies club (Mahila samaj), at the behest of social worker Smt. Ramabai Sathe. The Mahila samaj afforded her the opportunity to explore and develop her many talents, and she won numerous awards and medals for the Samaj in cooking, drama and debate competitions. When hit by the tragic demise of her younger sister, Kamal Tai got certified in Montessori education, graduating again at the top of her class, and took up a job. She credits her younger co-sister for helping her during this endeavor, which allowed her to deal with loss of her sister. She endured two other tragedies with the untimely demise of her husband and that of a young great grandson.
After an elementary school education till 4th grade at Parle Tilak Vidyalay, Vile Parle, Kamal Tai went to St. Columba's boarding school in Mumbai for matriculation. The guided supervision of British sisters at St. Columba’s and the experience of living in a hostel taught her the value of time and the importance of staying “as busy as a busy bee”. As was customary in those times, she got married right after matriculation. Adjusting into a conservative family, in pre-independence India was challenging for young Kamal, who was used to playing sports and pursuing her interests outside the kitchen. She credits her older co-sister and her mother-in-law for teaching her the family traditions and ways. Notwithstanding her mother-in-law’s initial displeasure, young Kamal got actively involved in the local ladies club (Mahila samaj), at the behest of social worker Smt. Ramabai Sathe. The Mahila samaj afforded her the opportunity to explore and develop her many talents, and she won numerous awards and medals for the Samaj in cooking, drama and debate competitions. When hit by the tragic demise of her younger sister, Kamal Tai got certified in Montessori education, graduating again at the top of her class, and took up a job. She credits her younger co-sister for helping her during this endeavor, which allowed her to deal with loss of her sister. She endured two other tragedies with the untimely demise of her husband and that of a young great grandson.
When Kamal Tai reflects on the various ups and downs of her life, she finds it ironic that she should live to see what ninety looks like. Nevertheless, she feels proud to have witnessed the third generation being successful responsible adults and has also welcomed six great grandson into the fold!
Although she couldn’t fulfill her desire to obtain higher education, the fact that all three of her daughters and all of her grandchildren have not only earned degrees from top-notch educational institutes of international repute but also won prestigious accolades is a source of tremendous joy to Kamal Tai. She feels very happy that although, in keeping with the times, her family dispersed out of the ancestral home and relocated into more convenient quarters, the younger generations have continued to celebrate family traditions and religious commitments as one. ("दूर असलो तरी एकमेकांना जोडून आहोत”) “We may be physically apart but we are still one family”, she says. Thanks to her youngest daughter Sandhya and son-in-law Rajiv, celebrating her 75th and 80th birthdays in far away America have been memorable joyous events to this nonagenarian.
While on her first visit to the USA, Kamal Tai’s oldest grandson Vihang and his wife took her on a trip to Chicago to visit the site where the first Parliament of the World’s Religions was held in 1893. At that conference, Swami Vivekananda, a chief disciple of Ramakrishna Paramahansa, who was also her guru, had represented Hinduism and endeared himself to the whole world after giving his maiden speech. She considers herself extremely fortunate to have been able to pay homage to this sacred site. That trip had turned in to a fulfilling pilgrimage for her as she was then taken to visit the Ramakrishna Mission center in Chicago and receive Prasad there. She remembers how, overcome with emotion, she had turned to thank her grandson for taking her there and how even before she could say anything he had said he understood her joy. "It is only by the Guru's grace that we are both here", he had said.
"Could there be any bigger moment of bliss?"
